You may be being manipulated if you feel that something is wrong in a relationship or casual encounter, that you are under pressure, that you are being controlled, or that you are questioning yourself more than usual.
Being manipulated is what we will encounter at every stage of our lives. We may be subjected to manipulation in our work life, school life, relationship or by our family.
What is manipulation?
Manipulation is the state of fulfilling the wishes of the other person against our will and being exposed to the feeling that we will feel bad if we do not.
What Should We Pay Attention To To To Understand That We Are Manipulated?
1. Pay attention to the behavior of the person making a request to understand that you are being manipulated.
For example, you may notice that someone who normally communicates discordantly or predominantly communicates gently when they make a request from you. This is a frequently used method in the manipulation process. Because the manipulator knows that you will feel bad when you refuse his/her request and communicates in a gentle and understanding tone for you to fulfill his/her request. As a result, you can not say no to the person’s request and go to the way of realization.
2. If the other person demands something from you or asks you to do something, pay attention to how you feel at that moment.
Are you afraid to say no in the face of demand? Will you blame yourself after saying no? Do you feel selfish when you don’t? All these questions or feelings that you question arise when you start to be manipulated.
This is the main goal of the other person: to create a “psychology of guilt”. In doing so, it aims to control your emotions and make you feel guilty. This is one of the most frequently used methods in manipulation.
3. You may witness people who try to manipulate exaggerate a simple event.
When you encounter such a situation, you may feel humiliated. The manipulator can tell you about bad events to justify what you underestimate in making you experience this feeling.
4. Manipulators observe you and try to manage your emotions.
In your relationship, the other party observes what you are angry at and how happy you are, in short, your emotional states and transitions for a while. When he/she starts to manipulate, he/she acts according to your emotions, disrupts your emotional balance and tries to manage you.
5. Applies gashlighting.
“Gashlighting” is often used to describe manipulations that make people question themselves, their reality, their memory, or their thoughts. A manipulative person can distort what you say or make you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re not quite sure you’re doing something wrong.
What Should You Do If You Think You Are Manipulated?
If you think you or someone you know is in a manipulative relationship, you can get help from your therapist, workplace psychologist, or Employee Assistance Program line.
Don’t let manipulative behavior affect you personally. After all: “We are not responsible for the feelings of others.”
Often, setting boundaries can play an important role in keeping manipulation at bay. Manipulators usually either have very strict boundaries or have intertwined boundaries. Staying away will help you set boundaries.
“Avoiding” being manipulated is often the best solution. Delaying your response in a manipulative situation can also help. Avoid meeting their demands or making decisions without thinking it through.
